Month: February 2018

February 7, 2018: Looking Back

I’m feeling more rejuvenated this morning. Usually it’s the opposite, and I wake up feeling like I didn’t get to sleep at all, but thankfully I don’t feel that way today. So far lol!

I finally looked through my birthday photos last night. I’m really happy with how they came out! My only regret is that I didn’t take enough pics of everyone who attended. It’s great to look back on events, while also seeing photos of our past selves (since we did attend college together years back).

February 6, 2018: Daily Goals

I’m happy with what I accomplished last night. I managed to find what I need to finish two of my work displays, plus gather what I needed for my window display. Of course, it was close to 11:30 when I finally stopped, but it’s done. I still have a lot to go, for my room this month, but it feels great to get that completed.

My goal for today is to take some time for my poetry therapy group list. As I mentioned yesterday, I began to take part in a group list with them over the weekend, so it’s important for me to maintain that link.

February 5, 2018: Communicating

Waking up at the beginning of the work week is always hard. I long to stay in bed for a few more hours, but it’s just impossible. Just need to wait until the weekend once again. Time to handle workplace dramas once again, and the small details that accompanies them. I went to bed a little earlier than normal though, so I’m a little more awake than usual.

This past weekend welcomed good things…I celebrated my birthday, and I’m communicating with my poetry therapy community again. I joined a group list which lasts for 2 months, and it involves weekly poetry promps and sharing. I’m looking forward to starting, since I enjoy talking with my poetry therapy group regularly.

February 4, 2018: Memories and Blessings

It’s a rainy afternoon in Hunterdon County, but I’m still enjoying my birthday weekend. Last night was a memorable gathering, since I celebrated my 40th birthday with my fiancΓ© and some dear friends. We realized amusingly that the night was like a small Seton Hall reunion, since we all graduated from there, and most of us hung out together in the past. I also invited a couple close friends from my poetry therapy community, but unfortunately they couldn’t make it. It was still enjoyable to have the turnout last night, since I value everyone’s company dearly. It was so peaceful, with no tension throughout the evening. It reminded me of my poetry therapy gatherings over the years, and how enjoyable it was to take part in those discussions with friends and colleagues.

Last night was a great reminder to value every moment. I spoke with my grandparents and cousin earlier that day, and my grandmother shared with me the story of when I was born. ‘There was a big snowstorm that day!’ my grandmother said. ‘There was so much, the snow covered the doors halfway’! I fondly remembered both my mother and grandmother sharing this story with me several times over the years, but I never get tired of hearing it! I told my cousin that I will visit them next weekend. We’re both looking forward to it. I especially can’t wait to see my 3 year old niece. It will be so great to see how she’s growing!

February 3, 2018: Special Day

My birthday is here! I woke up not feeling any different, yet today is a special milestone. 40 is an age my friends and I always dreaded reaching…everything seemed to freeze once that number is hit.

I’m in a feeling of mild disbelief, yet grateful of everything I been through in my life thus far. Feeling surprised, but looking forward to more days ahead. I have so much to live for…planning for my wedding (still no date and limited funds, but it will happen), seeing my nieces and nephew grow up, and seeing my poetry and writing flourish even more. I look forward to apply my creativity towards my working life also. Keeping the toddlers entertained in the classroom.

When I turned 30, I asked my mother if she felt any anxiety when she reached that age, since I was feeling a bit nervous at the time. ‘No, I didn’t feel anything about reaching that’, she responded. She was so casual, but it also taught me to embrace time because we have so little of it. Now that I’m celebrating 40, I wish to have her here to share the moment. I realize she’s always watching me, telling me ‘Don’t worry, you’ll be okay’.

So today I’m celebrating my special day, my 40th birthday. And I’ll enjoy every moment.

February 2, 2018: Dreams

Yesterday one of my good friends in the poetry therapy community posted ‘Harlem’ by Langston Hughes, in honor of his birthday. It’s one of my favorite poems, since its imagery inspired me to express myself poetically. ‘Harlem’ speaks of a community that’s vibrant, yet having their dreams deferred by constant struggles.

I read ‘Harlem’ with the knowledge that I also handle dreams that face struggle and hardship. They are different than the difficulties Hughes describes in his poem, yet my dreams can also be effected by doubt and anxiety from time to time. I can only do my best to care for myself in these situations. To not be hard on myself when feelings of doubt take over. My dreams may be deferred at the moment, but it’s temporary, and it’s important for me to remember that.

February 1, 2018: Reflections

I can’t believe that January is now gone, it went by so quickly! I’m pleased about some things that took place last month: I’m excited about having my writing streak alive again. It’s been forever since I wrote regularly, in any medium. I pray that I can maintain this flow.

I’m happy about my growing productivity in work also. Recent events at the end of 2017 made me realize that in order for me to succeed in my career, I need to take of it on my own. Sadly, requesting for help brings a less favorable response. It taught me my ability to thrive as a teacher though. It’s a day to day process.

I also learned that true companionship exists, however distant the connections are. This is something I’ve always known, but it’s truly emerged in recent weeks. Some people may feel uncomfortable about reaching out, and that’s fine. I’m always here regardless.