February 7, 2018: Looking Back

I’m feeling more rejuvenated this morning. Usually it’s the opposite, and I wake up feeling like I didn’t get to sleep at all, but thankfully I don’t feel that way today. So far lol!

I finally looked through my birthday photos last night. I’m really happy with how they came out! My only regret is that I didn’t take enough pics of everyone who attended. It’s great to look back on events, while also seeing photos of our past selves (since we did attend college together years back).

February 4, 2018: Memories and Blessings

It’s a rainy afternoon in Hunterdon County, but I’m still enjoying my birthday weekend. Last night was a memorable gathering, since I celebrated my 40th birthday with my fiancé and some dear friends. We realized amusingly that the night was like a small Seton Hall reunion, since we all graduated from there, and most of us hung out together in the past. I also invited a couple close friends from my poetry therapy community, but unfortunately they couldn’t make it. It was still enjoyable to have the turnout last night, since I value everyone’s company dearly. It was so peaceful, with no tension throughout the evening. It reminded me of my poetry therapy gatherings over the years, and how enjoyable it was to take part in those discussions with friends and colleagues.

Last night was a great reminder to value every moment. I spoke with my grandparents and cousin earlier that day, and my grandmother shared with me the story of when I was born. ‘There was a big snowstorm that day!’ my grandmother said. ‘There was so much, the snow covered the doors halfway’! I fondly remembered both my mother and grandmother sharing this story with me several times over the years, but I never get tired of hearing it! I told my cousin that I will visit them next weekend. We’re both looking forward to it. I especially can’t wait to see my 3 year old niece. It will be so great to see how she’s growing!

February 3, 2018: Special Day

My birthday is here! I woke up not feeling any different, yet today is a special milestone. 40 is an age my friends and I always dreaded reaching…everything seemed to freeze once that number is hit.

I’m in a feeling of mild disbelief, yet grateful of everything I been through in my life thus far. Feeling surprised, but looking forward to more days ahead. I have so much to live for…planning for my wedding (still no date and limited funds, but it will happen), seeing my nieces and nephew grow up, and seeing my poetry and writing flourish even more. I look forward to apply my creativity towards my working life also. Keeping the toddlers entertained in the classroom.

When I turned 30, I asked my mother if she felt any anxiety when she reached that age, since I was feeling a bit nervous at the time. ‘No, I didn’t feel anything about reaching that’, she responded. She was so casual, but it also taught me to embrace time because we have so little of it. Now that I’m celebrating 40, I wish to have her here to share the moment. I realize she’s always watching me, telling me ‘Don’t worry, you’ll be okay’.

So today I’m celebrating my special day, my 40th birthday. And I’ll enjoy every moment.